Lazy. Selfish. Irresponsible. Pretty soon, I'm gonna be accused of being all those things; I'm gonna be grounded and back in hell again. My parents think I'm doing this on purpose. They think I just choose not to work. That I don't even try. If I'm doing poorly, it must be because I'm slacking off and must be punished for it. Because not doing perfectly means "not even trying".
But I AM trying! If only they could see that! Of course, if I try to tell them that, I'm just "making excuses". Trying just doesn't seem to matter anymore. Sometimes I get everything done, am perfectly focused, and can concentrate on given tasks as easy as anything. Other times, I can't even seem to think in a straight line and everything just seems so distracting and overwhelming and I couldn't concentrate if my life depened upon it. Sometimes all I need is a break, and I can get back on track and concentrate; other times a break will only make things worse.
So I try to deny myself that break, and force myself